occupation + consumption.

Quick list of what I've been occupied with and will write about on some future date:

Music:

The Kills- "Midnight Boom", The Decemberists- "The Crane Wife", Death Cab for Cutie's latest album- new fave song 'I will possess your heart'


Found this music post / video post via a favorite on a music site MOG which i belong to, highly amusing and entertaining.

See below:

How Siouxsie Sioux brought a tear to my eye..by Neill

Ailments:

Wisdom tooth dilemma and Jimmy pulled his back, so I took care of him all wkend. He is struggling with serious back pain and he doesn't know how it happened aside from a nap on the futon. It is so bad, its interfering with relaxing at home and he was in pain all wkend and couldn't do anything. He has a dr appt this Thurs. I guess this is what happens when you get older. lol. I feel old right now, all these problems. It does suck! I am hoping he gets better as it's been horrible for him and I hate to see him suffer so.

Film:

Under the same moon [mexican subtitled film- sad, moving, relevant to today's political issues, about mother and child- the bonds]

TV:

Latest new hilarious tv show that debuted, we discovered via VSL and our BBC cable station IS Gavin and Stacey- which I highly recommend to fans of the office [bbc] and quirky comedy like that.

News:

Tropical storms/hurricanes Fay, Gustav, and newly formed Ike and Josephine keep us riveted to local news, cnn, msnbc, and weather channel constantly. What can i say? Somex it's how you get when you are a Floridian. Those unfamiliar with constant hurricanes or living in a state with major hurricanes every year, probably can't or won't relate but that's how it is when you live in this sort of state.

CourtTV/ Current murder trial:

The Sean Fitzpatrick murder trial in Boston ended in a mistrial after he took the stand in defense of himself. The accused guy was older, weird, charistmatic, obviously charming but with an air of cockiness, arrogance and self righteousness. He seemed to be guilty but the lack of evidence/ dna was unable to sway the judge to come to any judgement. They simply felt too conflicted and that's why it ended with a hung jury. It will be retried and Phil Spektor's retrial begins at the end of September which will be of great interest especially since I spent months watching it last year and like everyone else was disappointed when he got off scott-free when we all know this man is psychotic and he did kill her. He's guilty! So now maybe justice will come this time around!

Politics:

Obama; democratic national convention last week [jimmy was more obsessed with this than i. its just since we live together, I kind of end up being sucked into things I normally would not take the time to watch on my own HA]

I am for obama though and I found most of the speeches very inspiring + moving but could have done with the HOURS a nite for an entire wk of constant CNN coverage that I was forced to watch because Jimmy couldn't miss one minute of any of it. He had to be in on each and every action -- thank god he has slowed down this week with the republican conven. - true its because he is not for the republican party as I am not either, but still if he had his chance, I think he'd watch it 24/7- he just knows I will explode on him if I have to watch another week of political junk nite and day. There is a certain amount of anything I can take and I'm sorry but my tolerance is LOW.

TV/Olympics:

Since I was stuck watching olympics everyday for almost a month becos of HIS obsession with that and if I complained over this and how it dominated our tv, I was ridiculed because I am UN-American to not be "INTO" the olympics. Whatev- LOL I have to disagree with that. I am not into sports period. So what?!!
To each his own, right?

I did enjoy the diving and gymnastics but when someone wants to watch 4-6 hrs of olympics everyday for 3 weeks, I hardly think u can expect anyone to be enthusiastic for very long. It gets boring and begins to feel like you have no choice but to watch that.

If I wouldn't watch it, he'd simply record it on our DVD-R but he'd have to watch it the next day to keep up with the latest olympics scores and to not use all the dvd r space up- so it wouldn't matter. I would still be stuck watching it the next day. I got aggravated a lot simply because he dominates the tv for his sports games on a regular basis, then it was olympics and now its politics. I just get irritated but that's life I guess. He isn't very good at taking turns or sharing and we get into frequent fights over that because he is often selfish in my opinion and lacks the ability to see past himself or to even offer compromise. I often have to get angry and fight to get any positive outcome. It is frustrating sometimes.

Wedding Planning:

*We will have a meeting with florist to finalize ideas and put downpayment down in mid september.

*We have an appt with Alessi bakery for wedding cake same weekend. We must also go to David's Bridal for alterations on my bridal gown during the last weekend of September.

*This month, also need to buy: clear contacts, bridal strapless full slip for gown etc.

*Research party favors and reception decor, send out invites by end of month, decide if there will be any wedding shower at all dependent upon his mother.

*We also investigated hotels near the wedding chapel/reception hall for our upcoming wedding, for our out of town guests that will be here and will need a place to stay the nite of the wedding nearby. We came up with the following, but in the end we chose the Oldsmar one for our out of town guests (we will stay in clearwater in sand key hotel)- It's the bolded Courtyard at Marriott one and looks pretty nice. We've reserved ten rooms for our out of town guests and if there are less than ten guests, we can lower the amount of rooms we are holding, accdg to receptionist.
Here's the list of the hotels within 10 miles of the chapel and reception hall. The one in Tarpon Springs would be by the sponge docks if anyone wants something interesting to do on Saturday. There are two in Oldsmar that I think are right by the big flea market, so maybe a few of you would be interested in that. I'll have to see if it would be open that weekend, but I imagine it would.Blue Moon Inn - Dunedin (1.59 miles/approx. $99)http://www.thebluemooninn.com/Best Western Lake Tarpon - Tarpon Springs (4.13 miles/$94)http://www.bestwesternlaketarpon.com/index.htmHoliday Inn Express - Clearwater North (4.76 miles/$119)http://www.hiexpress.com/h/d/ex/1/en/hotel/ddnfl?rpb=hotel&crUrl=/h/d/ex/1/en/hotelsearchresultsComfort Inn - Clearwater (4.8 miles/$88)http://www.clearwatercomfortinn.com/Best Western Yacht Harbor Inn - Dunedin (5.11 miles/$112)http://www.yachtharborinn.com/Courtyard by Marriott - Oldsmar (7.21 miles/$99)http://www.marriott.com/hotels/travel/tpaol-courtyard-tampa-oldsmar/Residence Inn by Marriott - Oldsmar (7.22 miles/$109)http://www.marriott.com/hotels/travel/tpaod-residence-inn-tampa-oldsmar/Fairfield Inn & Suites - Clearwater Bayside (8.71 miles/$99)http://www.marriott.com/hotels/travel/tpacr-fairfield-inn-and-suites-clearwater-bayside/Belleview Biltmore Resort - Belleview (9.63 miles/$99)http://www.belleviewbiltmore.com/
I'm not sure where we're staying yet, but it might be the Sheraton Sand Key Resort in Clearwater. It's a little more pricey ($200 or so) and about 9 miles away. (http://www.sheratonsandkey.com/index.php)
+++

Labor Day:

I spent labor day sick, but so filled with anxiety [had a wedding day anxiety provoking dream], that i put together all 75 wedding invitations following correct model setup via box and putting in appropriate gift registries [was 25 short on gift registry cards so not all invitations are complete].

I felt so relieved for about ten mins like the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders, chest, heart....but it wasn't long before that feeling disappeared and was replaced with renewed anxiety/worry, stress. Now, all we have to do is print directions, add them, add postage to reply envelopes, and then hand address them. YAY take one step forward, fall two steps back. Gotta love that feeling!

Honeymoon planning:

We met with travel agent at borders in tampa on friday. St. Lucia is way out of our budget and so is Turks and Cacaos. They are close to four thousand dollars even w/ discounts. So it looks like we are stuck going to jamaica, looking at Whitehouse Sandals all inclusive resort which Jimmy has hesitated on because he says its too expensive at $2800 which includes 5 nites, plane fare for two, hotel for two, all food, liquor, etc.

I hardly think its expensive and think its unrealistic to think u can find anything under 2000 that includes all that in the carribeans. he complains that i didn't want to take a cruise which is only a few hundred dollars. sorry but thats not romantic to me, being stuck on a ship with people i don't know is unromantic, limiting, claustrophobic.

My idea of romance and relaxation on a vacation far away is being able to have privacy, plan your time as u like, plan your days without anyones rules , get up and go to bed when you like unlike a cruise. In any case, he had reserved our hotel room and pkg price with the travel agent over the weekend with my approval. She wrote today saying the reservation ends tomorrow and money must be put down to seal package and book our trip if we are to have one for our honeymoon so i mentioned this on the phone when he called on the way home from work.

We got in an argument when i mentioned it as he told me he didn't know if he wanted to go all the way with it [after we wasted all our time talking with her and he told her we were seriously interested and reserved the room etc- this made NO sense to me], and that it seemed unaffordable to him even though we got major discounts since right now flights are free and you get a free nite plus a honeymoon suite on first floor upgrade for a limited time if u go with sandals, so thats what we were getting. It normally costs over a thousand dollars more than this. But anyway, he began complaining saying maybe we could find another deal cheaper somewhere else online. I said you've got to be kidding me!

We've been looking online for six mos now, all of them are close to this price range given by the agent if not mroe than this and the ones NOT all inclusive simply are not worth it and will end up more in the end. But no, he had to insist he knows more than I. And then he went into how we could have an affordable trip if i wasn't so picky and we went on a cruise.

I'm not even going to go into all the anger I felt then. This is supposed to be my future husband's gift to me -his wife. It is supposed to be romantic, a gift. It is supposed to be something I love. Is taking me on a cheap cruise that makes me sea sick and i find UNrelaxing and unromantic and NOT fun what you do to show your future wife you love her and she is special? I don't think so. I blew up, cried, then apologized after hanging up.

Later when he got home, we did look up prices on Jamaica Sandals pkgs. It pretty much proved what I had said. I think he was resigned because he wrote the travel agent saying he'd like to discuss booking the trip but there is still some hesitation because he wants to know the full price with tax which makes me feel he doesn't know how to finalize anything and is afraid, looking for an excuse not to make that decison yet. I don't know.

I didn't say anything but in our earlier argument I told him that I was resigned to have no honeymoon cos it clearly was too much for him, too much for me to ask and it seemed I was undeserving with the way he acted of something romantic, nice, and special. He said he wanted that for me and said he didnt feel this way but his actions/reactions tell a different story and I feel as I do because of how he makes me feel. No one should be this stressed over a honeymoon, most importantly, the bride to be. It makes me feel guilty for wanting to have and get what most normal people in this world get when they get married. It makes me angry that I am made to feel this way. i have a hard time coping with emotions under any sort of duress or stress and wonder if i ever can get any better than this. Most of the time, it seems hopeless and I feel it, inside. Hopeless.

I want to sing like the birds sing, not worrying about who hears or what they think.
-Rumi

olympics crazy!! (not me!!)

[i wrote this earlier in august, during the constant coverage and obsession that some americans had over the olympics via television. for the record, i find things like olympics overhyped and overrated. it's not really my cup of tea although i do enjoy gymnastics and some diving]

August 12.2008

Has anyone watched the olympics? Jimmy is a fanatic about it and about american teams. and thats all his family watched 24/7 when we visited last Saturday. after hrs of it, I decided to go into the guest bedroom and watch a real tv show I liked by myself alone and then went to sleep there. I was so bored. they spent all day watching olympics and then all nite baseball. then olympics after I woke up from the nap and I had to argue just to get him to leave the tv so we could make our drive home.

I dont mind the olympics a little [like once or twice a week or at least spread out so its not everyday] but not every single day. however jimmy is not the same. he would like to watch it every single nite and day but has RECENTLY tried to compromise because of me [well see how long that lasts] but only because i got angry on Tuesday and pissed off after 4 or more days of constant sport coverage and olympics and not having a say in watching something NON olympics when it is my place too and I live here. i couldnt take it and it gave me a headache/migraine strength.

I just couldnt imagine 17 days, day and nite of olympics which is originally what Jimmy intended and planned on doing/ watching it every nite til he went to bed and nothing else. meaning he didnt care if i wanted to watch something else other than sports and if i was stuck watching olympics the entire nite everyday until the olympics ends, it would not bother him at all. I found it highly selfish. and immature. I believe in taking turns and sharing but like a typical male, that concept is hard for him to fathom or practice with me.


I just couldnt tolerate this. i want some variety on the tv and to be able to watch some things that we both like and that are relaxing. sports is noisy and involves a lot of yelling/cheering. i cannot even read a book or do anything relaxing when that racket is on and everything i enjoy doing is in the living room not in the back bedroom. I felt he was being very unfair and man-like, one sided, reminded me of dad and having no say in my own house.


Anyway after i blew up earlier this week, he took a break from the olympics but he has recorded it everyday and that is about 3-5 hrs of sports to watch and since he wants to be caught up everyday on olympics, it means that I have ended up watching it more than i even cared for or intended to.

When we fought earlier in the week, he told me he had never seen anyone NOT into the olympics [i looked at his parents and family friends and knew exactly why. all of them are sports fanatics and remind me of the jocks/cheerleaders i hated in hschl who NEVER understood me and looked down on me for not being athletic or liking athletics. they bullied me, made fun of me, and ridiculed me for being nerdy and NONathletic in highschool. his family attitude reminds me of the people who made me ashamed of who i was and who never truly accepted me for being different and who also judged me harshly and were very superficial mean spirited people. I have never been into sports and never will be. they need to learn to realize im not them, i am myself and to accept who i am. everyone is different and just because i dont like sports doesnt make me a bad person or abnormal or lower than them.]


In the same above fight, Jimmy told me I was abnormal for not being into the olympics. he also said its abnormal i never watched it much before him. the times i did watch it was like one or two nites out of the entire summer and only the competitions i liked like the gymnastic dances and the diving. so it wasnt like i was forced to watch the parts i felt were boring and i certainly didnt have to watch it every waking moment i was alive. When someone is forced to like something or forced without any choice to do or watch something- its only human nature that you become turned off to it and begin to hate it and eventually despise/resent whatever is being forced on you.

Jimmy also had to watch the entire olympic chinese opening ceremony last Friday. i was so bored, and lonely that nite. I was mostly was on the computer, outside smoking or fell asleep during the nearly five hrs of coverage.


a lot of the olympics is incredibly boring- like volleyball and canoeing and stuff like that. but jimmy LOVES it all. even the boring sports.


tonite, we were watching the gymnastics portion and this was the only time I enjoyed watching the olympics since it started last week, I have to admit.


I liked this series better because i find it more exciting/challenging when its more than just floor exercises as it can be a little boring and tediuous to watch for hours. and i also think watching the men perform is more exciting than the women and the beginning focused mainly on the men gymnasts on balance beam and on the trapeze thing.


I preferred the balance beam competitions in the men and women's divisions that we saw tonite. i could not watch it for days in a row though like jimmy.


Also I tend to like the NON american teams- like the russians and the chinese and he is the type who puts down anyone who isnt american and makes annoying rude comments while they are performing, like yelling screw up to that chinese girl who is actually one of my faves after watching her tonite along with the russian girls who I think really have a natural grace and agility to perform more than the american girls do !!


I hate people like that, who will only cheer for americans and will BOO anyone from any other country in the USA. i think its stupid, immature and almost catty/childish, snobby. superficial judgemental. closeminded.


That's probably why i hate sports and jocks/ sport-fanatics because they are only for one team or one state or one country and arent interested in seeing others and like to make put-down rude sarcastic remarks towards anyone not on the team they love [whether it be USA or the state of FL].

i like to watch performers and make my own decision that isnt always dependent on IF they are american or not. i tend to like the european performers best.


jimmy would prob be annoyed if he knew i was saying this. but i just do NOT get what the big deal is about olympics or why anyone would be that obsessed!! I really dont care. I would not care if I missed it at all and it wouldnt change my life but the way he acts, he cant live without seeing the olympics every single day it is aired and if he does, its like he might have a heart attack because he has to be watching it so he can talk to everyone around him since it seems everyone he associates with in life are all sport fanatics. everyone except for me!! I simply dont get it or understand why he even wanted someone like me if sports and being into sports is such an important priority for him and for the girl he spends his time with.


Jimmy's mom calls everyday and when he isnt watching a sport game or prob the olympics, she quizzes him and acts like there is something wrong if he isn't because she is!!! I feel like if he isnt watching it that she secretly believes I am manipulating him into not watching sports and that she resents me and blames things on me since she knows Im not into sports and I know by her past reactions, she thinks its weird and abnormal that I am not and taht Jimmy picked a girl who isn't sporty or into that kind of thing.


His mom as usual made some sarcastic comments about the fact that I do not cook, towards me. Her along with her two female friends ganged up on me - making sarcastic comments how they cant believe I am not into cooking as if every woman is. and also how they think I should love to cook and his mom again insulted me with her: "Well you just have to learn to LOVE it. I DID because I had to, I was forced to. Thats what you have to and need to do." I didnt respond much but I wasnt going to let her manipulate/pressure me with that and said simply, Its not for me and when they kept pushing, I made sure to say things in a tone that they could tell I was going to get very angry if they kept pushing my buttons.

I nearly blew up. i told them i found food uninteresting and boring and didnt really care about eating much or food, it didnt excite me. I was sarcastic back towards them and I believe they noticed it. I was sarcastic because they were telling me how i should feel and very rude, putting me on the spot and trying to belittle me, scrutinize who I am in front of everyone and in the pool. It felt very humiliating and I feel she does it on purpose. Its NOT the first time.


I overheard her critiquing jimmy yesterday that i dont cook and he does and that its wrong and he is quote, "too easy". [in other words she thinks he lets me get away with murder and taht I dont treat him right. which means she feels I am not good enough for her son. I always feel she thinks that about me and I know its not my imagination. I am annoyed over this still. I could never handle living in the same vicinity as her or having to be in her home for more than a few days. I would go insane. She is controlling and constantly critical, judgemental of others. she may not realize it but its the sort of energy I do not want around me. I cant stand people who make me feel like I am lower than they are and that no matter what you do, its not impressive enough. No wonder Jimmy has so many issues of self doubt and lacks confidence in himself, never thinks he is good enough or successful enough. I feel sad for him that this is what makes him that way.


His mom was also trying to insist i need to go to a tanning salon for my wedding day to have tan skin since i got sort of burned. and she said if i wanted to be perfect, id want to go tanning once. i dont want to be tan and i tried to tell them all i hate tanning esp fake tanning and dont think it looks good, think it looks fake [ugly, leathery like lizard] they told me i was weird. i know why they said this. its cos they look like the ones i think look horrible, overly tanned, leathery and aging from being overly in the sun. i bit my lip but i felt like i was going to blow up.


+++


I got this VSL that seems to echo my sentiment about the olympics, that its truly OVERrated and that there are actually some normal intelligent people who are NOT into olympics and whose lives do not revolve around silly sports!! HA- I sent it to Jimmy during his crazed obsessive days with cramming as much olympic activity into our days/nites as he could!

Why we’d rather watch the Olympics in Britain

WEB VIDEO: "BBC Sport’s Olympics Monkey"

Tonight’s the big kickoff for the Olympics. But before you’re sick of NBC’s whole theme-songed, video-packaged enterprise (the network plans 36,000 Hilton-Coke-ExxonMobil-sponsored multiplatform hours of coverage, the equivalent of four years of 24/7 broadcasting), check out this brief and fetchingly odd Web-video alternative.

Created as a promo for BBC Sport’s Olympics coverage, “Monkey” is the brainchild of Damon Albarn (lead singer of the band Blur) and Jamie Hewlett, the pair behind the virtual art-pop supergroup Gorillaz. The wryly animated video is based on the classical Chinese novel Journey to the West as well as the alt-rock opera Monkey: Journey to the West, another Albarn-Hewlett collaboration. It follows Monkey, Pigsy, and Sandy as they travel to Beijing. Along the way they must battle various foes by using their skills in (naturally) swimming, javelin-tossing, running, pole-vaulting, and hurdle-jumping.

If we were giving out medals for network promos, there’d be no competition: BBC Sport’s Monkey would get the gold.

“BBC Sport’s Olympics Monkey”

The New Yorker’s profile on Damon Albarn

Ask.com for more information about “BBC Sport’s Olympics Monkey”

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