SO busy and all the latest going on with me!

Life is so crazy right now- been SUPER busy with finishing touches on wedding which is in upcoming November month. and my birthday is this saturday, day after halloween. past wkend between being swamped with little wedding details, the stress of fking trainwreck florist Laurie- been exhausted and overwhelmed. called us to RUIN our saturday morning/day to tell us she had spoken with HEAD FLORIST [funny how the past six mos she represented herself as the EXPERT IE. HEAD florist and LED us on to believe she is something she is NOT]

In any case, she now told us, weeks before OUR wedding- that the head florist CANNOT do ALL colors we chose for reception [yellow, light green, and melon-red colored orchids] have to be fucking changed because florist says they do not match our lilac color in the wedding [my dress is ivory and bridesmaids are lilac]

Jimmy handled it all for us on the telephone and kept his cool but he is about to go off the deep end too and my mom almost wanted to just find another florist at the last minute because Laurie is that disruptive and stressful to everyone and because she is starting to get nervous this flightly Laurie is going to screw up our wedding and waste 500 plus dollars of her hard earned money. i could tell she is feeling as anxious as i am. we've revised our own plan but wont be able to discuss with laurie til nov. 9th and we KNOW she will make it hard no matter how organized we are because she is consistent about making us start from scratch and not allowing us to just tell her what we want and to be decisive in our decisions.

Laurie is so neurotic that she makes you go thru every single detail to assure herself she is not going to fuck your wedding up. i have about had it to HERE with her and when we do see her, if she tries to inflict more doubt, uncertainty in the choices we make- i am going to go off on her and tell her simply, this is what we want and this is what we are paying you for, so please just do it and stop making everything more complicated than it needs to be. this is ridiculous.

I will be reporting her ASAP after this wedding is over, btw, to the appropriate manager at Publix. No way is she getting off on this so she can ruin someone else's wedding in the future. she is completely incompetent in her role as 'event planner' and does not belong in the job title she is currently in and needs major training in customer skills although I believe it is a mental defect in how she treats others and she is so neurotic and all over the place, that she does not belong in a job that involves leadership, customer service, assertiveness or in catering to a person's special day.

The appropriate head people NEED to be aware of her inability to perform her job or remain professional. I expect her to challenge our decisions of floral and colors on our nov. 9th appt.

We will print and bring the ones we found online [i'll share pix of these at end of entry below] because we simply do NOT want to email her our ideas cos she will just ASK more stupid questions and waste more of our time on the phone, cause more stress and really I would like to fking enjoy my 37th bday this coming saturday and want NO part of laurie in my life this week. Everytime I think about her, I get pissed off. I do not have the patience to deal with her right now. I am fed up.

***Here are the orchid colors we are considering and hope we can come to an amicable consensus b/t laurie and head florist as I dont have much energy left to contend with our choices NOT being good enough.

I hardly think I LACK the visual sense of what colors go with what and knowing how to put colors together. That is one of my best skills and fashion is something I have always considered as a career because that is how good I am at style and color so it REALLY insults me when someone suggests that the color flowers I chose do not go wtih the colors in my wedding not to mention the fact that I thought we HIRED her and are paying her to do our wedding. Doesn't that mean that we have total say in what we want and that what we say goes??!! I feel like these people act like they are the customers and we are the ones working for them. I just don't get it.

Phalaenopsis Orchids >

Doritaenopsis Ruey Lih Beauty "M"





Phalaenopsis Orchids >


Phalaenopsis Sogo David





Dendrobium Orchids >


Dendrobium Nestor "Nagata"




Cymbidium Orchids >

Cymbidium Meglee "Miss Taipei"




Cymbidium Orchids >


Cymbidium Lady Fire "Red Angelica"




Cymbidium Orchids >

Cymbidium Dorothy Stockstill "Forgotten Fruits" with Two Flower Stems




Cymbidium Orchids >


Cymbidium Waltz "Romance"

PS.

BTW, I have the bridal shower pix finally but haven't had any time to upload and share here. Will later when I can find some time! Also had dinner with parents and visited on wkend and took a few photos over there on Saturday. Will share and post at a later date.

New things or upcoming:

1- Marriage License appt is November 7th for the two of us. we cant believe how fast everything is going and it is really an emotionally warming/moving experience to realize that by the end of November I will be his wife and him my husband :D

2- his coworkers which are predominantly female [most i've met and are nice, always tell me what a nice guy he is and such a great catch cos he is so polite and ultimate helpful boss/worker with them] want to hold a little late lunch/dinner get together for US in honor of our upcoming wedding. A bit like a shower but not really..More like a get together and celebration of our upcoming future.

I think that is so sweet and I look forward to it actually. It is really nice of them to think of us this way especially when some people are still set in the tradtitional way of things. It's rare that coworkers would throw any sort of party for the guy in the engaged relationship or the couple then again maybe it is cos they are female and he is well liked by them. It is refreshing that they aren't stuck in conservative conventional ways which I think are very unrealistic in this day and age. It is refreshing that people realize things are far different today and both people in coupleship deserve to be honored! :)

More things going on in life, not all connected to our upcoming wedding, in a future entry when time allows me to do so. I feel so scattered and all over the place that I feel I am way behind when it comes to sharing all that I want presently. More later when I have unlimited time to think, focus and write! :)

ready to kill this woman. is she loony or what?

someone please hold me BACK before i go insane and explode on this woman.

i think i am going to scream if she ASKS us the same stupid questions we've already answered again. she has Asked these questions in every time we have met with her. count them - three f***ing times. what the F--k is her problem??

we only spoke with her a week ago via telephone. every question she asked in this email or stated, we have already answered thru the phone.

may i add i have sent clear concise emails in past with details of what i want and do not want.

thank god for my fiance who wrote me something supportive and soothing. im glad he wrote what he did to me because if he had just forwarded her email without saying anything to keep me from stressing out, i would have lost it. this woman is making me lose my cool, and fast.

the comforting thing is that jimmy is experiencing it firsthand with me and validates my feelings by acknowledging feeling the same feelings and frustration. it's so much better when the other supports how you feel and gets 'it' because then you avoid the plaguing and overbearing feeling that kills, that feeling of feeling 'alone' in the world.

he doesn't often commisserate with my feelings because i am way more emotional than him and we are built differently. i am sensitive. he is covered with walls, that he prob formed at a young age to make everyone think he is strong and to keep himself from ever being truly hurt. somex i envy him but it is not my nature and i can never be like him.

we are different people.

the key to contentment is acceptance and finding a way to fit together even when inner natures can be so vastly different. it is merely the difference between a man and a woman.

i think maybe this is common ground experienced and explored and most felt by women.

we are feeling creatures and i wouldn't have it any other way.

---

morning email exchange forwarded to me by my fiance this afternoon:

Subj:Fw: your 11/28/08 wedding
Date:10/21/2008 10:14:50 AM Eastern Daylight Time

Hi, babe. I'm just forwarding this to you so we can go over it together tonight. You'll also have to give your Mom a heads up on the 50% deposit. We'll need to work our order down to get it to where your Mom is comfortable with it.

Looks like Laurie still doesn't know what is going on and is going to make it as difficult as she can for us. I'm going to write her to say that we can't make a 6:00 pm appointment, so we'll either have to do something later on a weekday or on a weekend. If the florist can't make arrangements around our schedule, then too bad. I can't really take off work anytime between now and the middle of November, and I think your Mom needs to be there with us. If she can't drive to meet us at Publix, then we'd have to make it on the weekend.

Anyway, don't let Laurie stress you out. She is making it more difficult than it needs to be and we just have to get through one more appointment with her.

Have a good day and I'll see you in a few hours.

Love,
Jimmy

Forwarded Message ----
From: Events0754
To: Jimmy
Sent: Tuesday, October 21, 2008 9:47:26 AM
Subject: your 11/28/08 wedding

Yesterday, I met with our florist to review your order and make sure we are capturing everything and to get her professional opinion about the entire feel of the wedding. We do have a few questions.

The Wedding

1. For the Pew markers - have you already purchased the tulle?
2. We can now get lucky bamboos (its green and curls at the top) and it is very Asian. Do you know what that is? We can incorporate a few stalks in your altar arrangements and then use it in reception room, to carry your theme from the wedding to the reception.

The Reception

3. For the guestbook table - the butterfly arrangement - do you want the vase crystals to be light blue like in the photo or do you want it to be one of the colors you are using in the orchids?
4. For above, do you want the butterflies to be light blue and purple or do you want them to be multi-colored to coordinate with the yellow, oranges, greens and reds we are using for the blooms to float in the vases? We can make the butterflies most any color you want
5. Do you have access to a fax machine? I have found to other possible ideas for the head table but they are from magazines and so I can only fax them to you.
6. Since we are doing so many things that are not from our books, I want to set up another appointment and have our florist be present. Although she only works 8-5, she is willing to come back in for a 6pm meeting with you two, but it will have to be a weekday. I have 3 slots that we can do hopefully you can do one of them: Tue 10/28 6pm, Wed 10/29 6pm or Mon 11/10 6pm. Please let me know which one works best with your schedules.
7. Just a reminder that on Tue 10/28, you will need to fulfill your 50% deposit and since we don't know exactly the final total, I think a $400 deposit will be sufficient.

I look forward to hearing from you soon! We are just 6 weeks away!

Take care
Laurie

++

Subj: Re: your 11/28/08 wedding
Date: 10/21/2008 10:45:29 AM Eastern Daylight Time
From: Jimmy
To: Laurie at publix

Hi, Laurie. I'm going to go over your list of questions with April tonight and we'll get back to you in the next day or two. Regarding a follow-up appointment, we absolutely cannot make it for a 6:00 pm meeting during the week. I can't take off any time from work from now until mid-November. Also, April doesn't drive, so I'd have to pick her up and the earliest we'd be able to make it would be 6:30 pm or 7:00 pm depending on traffic. We'd also like her mother to be there with us again as she is the one paying for it and we don't want to order what we can't afford. I think she was OK with the $500 or so that was first quoted before the changes and adding the arrangements, but $800 is going to be too much so we'll have to scale things down a bit and eliminate where we can. We'd also probably have to pick her up in Clearwater if she is going to be there with us, which would effectively rule out any weeknight meetings. We'll have to check with her and get back to you on dates and times that work.

To answer your question about the tulle, we have bought one roll that we brought in to show you last time, but need to know if it is wide enough (5" or 6"?) or what the desired width would be and if wired tulle is OK. I know you said we'd need at least 30 yards and we definitely would like to purchase it ourselves. We may even be able to purchase butterflies, lucky bamboo, or anything else we can add to arrangements in order to bring the cost down a bit. We really need to do whatever we can to economize and still be beautiful without looking cheap.

I have access to a fax machine here at work and the number is (813) ----. If you are faxing anything, you'll have to include a cover sheet with my name on it so it doesn't get mixed up with anything.

You'll be hearing from us soon. If there are any other dates and times that would better fit into our schedules, please let us know. We'd really like to get this all squared away sooner than later so we have one less thing to worry about.

Thanks,
Jimmy

---

EDIT

my fiance has communicated with nutcake laurie who is further frustrating all and sent me more wedding info in regard to what she said and current details we need to attend to next in regard to delectables our caterer and contending with possibly hundreds more than originally quoted.

wtf?

annoying.

fiance has offered to pay for any overspill of this. i think he knows my mom is way in debt already with this and knows he has to pitch in.

here is what he said/ emailed me and here is a copy of the PDF details and pricing sent by delectables, includes breakdown of food and service provided and what comes with paid service and what each charge is for.

just updating to add this here:

Alma [my mom] and April,

Here is the proposal from Delectables if we have 60 people (PDF attachment). As of now, there are only 36 (including the DJ, photographer, and officiant) from the responses we've received, so it may be closer to the original quote they gave us unless we get a bunch of RSVPs this week. I counted a little more than 60 with all of the people that I thought were coming, so I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Alma, if the final count is higher than originally anticipated, I can try to pay you back somehow since most of the guests will be from my side. I don't remember exactly what the original quote was, but this one appears to be $200 or so higher from what I recall. We still have to check on the chair covers, which will probably be $200 or more, so I'll take care of that. We'll also see what we can do to get the flowers down to something more reasonable. Laurie at Publix wrote me back and said that Nov. 9th is better for their florist, so I guess we'll just stick with that date if you can make it there with us at 3:00pm. Hopefully, you can request that date off work or swap a shift with someone.

April, they need to know the color of napkins we'd like to use. I just called Marilyn and she said the options for our color scheme would be ivory, lavender, purple or deep purple. She doesn't have an exact match for Victorian lilac, but the lavender would be a lighter purple and might look nice if you didn't want ivory or something darker. I was just going to tell her we'd go with ivory, but I wanted to see what you wanted before writing her back.

Well, only one more hour of work. See you in a little while.

Love,

Jimmy

---

Delectables Catering contract for our wedding:

Event #: 4866 Prepared By: Marilyn
Event Date: Friday, November 28, 2008

Guest Count: 60

Occasion: Wedding Reception

Service Style: Buffet with China & Linens
Venue: White Chapel of Palm Harbor
Palm Harbor, FL 34683
Times : 7:00 PM Event Start

Trademark Buffet

Appetizers-

Stationary Hors D' Oeuvres
International Cheese Presentation w/ Gourmet Crackers
Garden Vegetable Cruditès served with Peppered Artichoke Dip
House Salad Buffet with Two Homemade Dressings

Chef's Choice Fresh Steamed Vegetables for Buffet
Assorted Dinner Rolls with Creamy Butter
Mashed Potatoes w/ White Peppecorn Gravy
garlic

Entree-

Camembert Chicken 4oz.
Herb Roasted Châteaubriand au Jus s/w Peppercorn Sce and Horserad.Chantilly

Beverages-

Freshly Brewed Coffee with Cream and Sugar

Menu Selection(s):
Trademark Buffet 60 @ $22.10 $1,326.00
Menu Total: $1,326.00

Venue to provide
Beverage Selection(s):

Price includes all china, standard linens and flatware

Tablecloth color - Ivory, Napkin color - ?
Accents Ivory and Victorian Lilac
Client to provide own cake, cake cutting fee waived
Champagne Glasses- Flutes 50 @ $0.50 $25.00
China, Flatware, and Standard Linens for Buffet 50 @ $0.00 $0.00
Miscellaneous Subtotal: $25.00

Staffing:

Servers 3 $285.00
Supervisor 1 $135.00
Staffing Subtotal: $420.00

Event Subtotal: $1,771.00

+++

10.00 % Gratuity: $177.10

Subtotal: $1,948.10

7.00 % Florida Sales Tax: $123.97

Event Subtotal: $2,072.07

Payments Received: ($500.00)

Event Total: $1,572.07

Deposit Amount: $500.00

Final Balance Due: 6 day(s) prior to event date.

Print Date: 10/21/2008

---

PS

I will write more later, right now fiance on way home and too much wedding stuff we need to tackle this evening as soon as he arrives home in next half hour. i am so far behind in updating here at this point.

up-do ideas + wedding stressors. i will survive!

a few updo's i like- my main faves for myself are the first two.

the third one is the color hair i'd like to dye mine!

#1

Natural Updo

Natural waves are highlighted in this modern updo that looks effortless and sophisticated.

#2 Classic Wavy Updo

#3 French Twist With Flowers

#4 Updo With Dramatic Appeal

Ideal for a celebrity-loving bride -- this updo has a dramatic, eye-catching quality and great style.

See more Updos


I shared this with my matron of honor and she replied in email that she liked the 1^st and 3^rd hairstyles best.

And then I wrote Matron of Honor the following below in reference to her email and other current events this week:

Hi,

After you left on Saturday, a few hours later we went to Michael's over here which had most of the same stuff and looked almost bigger than the aisle we were in for wedding stuff. He really liked all that stuff and definitely thought it was worth it. He said we'll go back there and get some stuff when he has money- I assume in the near future.

Jimmy wrote me this morning saying he got tix for his fave band of all time. The Smashing Pumpkins are coming to Ruth Eckerd Hall in August so we got tix to it :) I told him that was cool but hoped he had money for all the wedding stuff we still have to do since he's complained about not having enough money for that and for buying a home. and he had said he was trying NOT to buy anymore concert tix until after our wedding + honeymoon.

So I just sent an email to him hinting some of the main things we need to do/focus on, get accomplished. I don't mean to be nagging and wouldnt care about the concert so much if I saw him actually setting down goals to do the things we need done, most of which I cannot do alone since it involves both of us being at the appt and him paying for the things that my parents are not paying for financially.

We have several big things that are not even reserved yet or found and we are months behind in what would be expected at this point in any bridal/wedding magazine or website and it's anxiety provoking and overwhelming/stressful to me. Hopefully we tackle this stuff this wkend.

Well he just wrote me back and said he knew I was right and it was stressful to him but he knew I was right and we'd work on accomplishing what we can by the end of this weekend. He said he'd call me at 1pm and he called me 'sweet pea' which he never does so I guess he was trying to be reassuring and sweet to me to relieve my anxiety which was really nice. I'm glad he didn't take what I wrote the wrong way. I know in email it can come out sounding all wrong or critical!

We may have to go to the famous footwear in citrus park either tonite or tomorrow nite cos I exchanged my sketchers shoes for these comfy black leather Clarks shoes there and they didnt have my size so I ordered it before we went to Sarasota and its been in for about a week now!

Have u seen the Dark Knight or is that your type of film???? I sense it would be. Jimmy really wants to see it. I am not a batman fan at all to be honest and I recently saw that Batman Begins via netflix with Jimmy to see if maybe I'd like it prior to the release of dark knight hoping I might like it but the truth is that it was as boring as I remember when my dad watched it and I ended up leaving the room back then. This time around I was bored to tears and had to force myself to not fall asleep because I found it so boring and slow moving.

Christian Bale is one of those actors I just don't like for some reason. every film Ive seen him in, I was bored by the film and him and I don't get the attraction to him either but a lot of people seem to like him.

I guess Jimmy really wants to also see Heath Ledger's joker role but I am just not into the whole batman/superheroe story anyway and find it tacky. and Heath was an okay actor. I didnt love any of the films I saw him in, honestly .......although I'm sure he was a fine actor. The whole "dark knight" thing just seems overhyped to me, all becos of heath's death or accidental suicide. And really I could care less about the film or the joker, be it Heath or not.

Anyway, Jimmy has asked his friend Tony if he will go with him so he might see that soon this wk or wkend with him. Hopefully Tony will go with him as he always backs out on any plan Jimmy tries to make with him and is so flighty that I feel bad for Jimmy since he is his past childhood friend + they were roommates for yrs when they both first moved here from the midwest. I know it hurts him that T. doesnt place him as a top priority of his life and I keep telling him people change and grow apart esp when they marry and are thinking of having a family/kids. Anyway I opted to not go as I think I'd be bored having to sit thru the movie for 2 hrs and he prob needs some guy/buddy time. LOL But if T. flakes on him, I will be his movie partner as I feel bad and he doesnt like going to things alone. Poor guy :( So, I was just curious if you saw it yet as I imagine you might be a fan and thought I could pass on if you thought it was good or not, if you saw it, to Jimmy :)

Anyway, I hope you are well today.

Love,
Me

I wrote the following to Jimmy after he emailed me he excitedly got the almost last tix to smashing pumpkins at a fancy art/orchestra hall in clearwater before they sold out. I'd say it irritated me a bit but i tried my best to bite the tongue and be gracious. I wrote this below and his reply is as follows afterwards:

Jimmy,

That's cool sweetie :) I know how much you've wanted to see them in the past year or so, so I'm happy for you. I'm also really pleased its an indoor venue and a nice classy one at that which isn't too high up like the other stadium places [tool, the cure] that tend to make me sick/dizzy/claustrophobic and panicked. I'm glad it will be a pleasant experience since that is a really nice and relaxing venue. I don't really want a repeat of the cure concert as that was distressful for me. Anyway, hopefully it was not too expensive because we still need to get a lot of things for our wedding and honeymoon including wedding bands and such which we need to begin looking around for soon.

Here are the things most on my mind that overwhelm and I feel need to be attempted and completed for our wedding to be a successful event and for us to be right on track...I will map it out below..

Right now we are way behind schedule by a few mos. We need to get most of the things I am listing within the next few wks, seriously, we are way behind by any book, website or person on wedding planning and the timeline. We have to get back on track and get these things done below and I am not saying all of it in here because there is more we should be doing than this and its too overwhelming to focus on it all for me right now plus the ones I mention here are the ones I am most worried over and until I get those done, I cannot focus on all the other details we have overlooked that need to be done for our wedding in the next two or so months.

We need to get a timeline and goal list down this week and tackle half or more of the things by this weekend. Please read carefully and take mental notes as it's very important to me and I want an organized classy wedding. Call me or write today when you have time. If you don't have time, lunchtime would be a good time to call me for a few minutes as I am sure you have an hour break and enough time to make a call to me. I'd feel less stressed if we could tackle all of these head on or at least part of them. Please help me with these as I feel a lot of these are things we need to be doing together on both of our time together. Thanks for listening ahead of time and I appreciate your patience on this matter :)

+++

I'd like to find out about making an appt with the photographer/dj this week [can you call?], and during the weekend can we start looking at jeweler's or finer stores for wedding bands so we can get an idea what we want and what it will cost?

I'd also like to get our wedding invitation order in by this wkend as I really wanted it done by last wkend.

The other thing is we should set up an appt with Stephanie, the Sandals travel agent, so we can get an idea and have a plan as I was excited to hear from her about all the pkg deals and all. Here is her number if you need it so we can call for an appt. ***-***-****.

We also need to do research on what I need to do in terms of getting a passport and what we need to get the marriage license prior to the wedding and how far before the wedding its required to apply for it. Just some things on my mind.

We also need to call Alessi Bakery soon to talk with the person head of cakes and sit down with them to sort out and place our order with them. At this point, we should have already made an appt, talked to someone and reserved our date with them. I think in the past I did this six mos prior to the wedding so we are very behind in many things as it's almost August - and getting b/t the 3 and 4 month mark. Most things should be finalized or reserved at this point.

Anyway- I'll let you go for now so not to overwhelm. Sorry to bombard you with ideas/things we need to do but if I don't say it or put it in writing in goal form- it will not get done and its stressful that there are so many loose strings that still need to be taken care of for the wedding and we are behind what would be the projected date for some of these things. Setting goals and writing it out to you is the best way to organize what needs to be done and best way to tackle it, so it can be accomplished.

I haven't heard from Matron in regard to the florist. Maybe we should investigate the Publix florist ourselves. We have to go to Citrus Park to pick up my shoes- we could stop over there prior to see if there is someone we could talk to , to get info on if they do wedding flowers and set up an appt if they do??? When do you want to go to Citrus Pk to get my shoes? You said we'd get them earlier in the week and the guy said he'd only hold them until Thursday which is tomorrow! Let me know what u want to do today-- as I would need to be ready to go to the mall by the time you get home if we are going to do that today and need some advance to organize myself etc!! Call me or write back to this!!

Again, I'm glad that you got tix to see the band u love more than anything in the world. I just hope they sound better than their last album as I wasn't very impressed and its a bit dated to their 90's sound!

Btw the band I'd really love to see is the Kills, as I like to see new bands from time to time that are up and coming and unique to the scene. Can you keep an eye out for any shows coming to the US or here and check on the sites you tend to look for tours on to see when or if they are coming here as Id like for us to get tix for them depending IF its at a decent venue of course. For more info and to see their artistic page, here's their website link:

http://www.thekills.tv/

Well,call me when you can, today. You could email me to give me an idea of when u might be able to call or recommend a time I can call, possibly around lunch time which I imagine should be very soon- let me know!

Love,
Me

HIS REPLY

Hi sweet pea,

I skimmed over your message and agree on pretty much everything you said. I'm a little stressed with all of the things that we need to do, but we definitely need to do whatever is possible by the end of the weekend. If I have time later this afternoon, I'll call the photographer and Stephanie about the Sandals thing.

I can't write much more now as things are a little hectic over here, but I wanted to tell you that I'll call when I leave for lunch (around 1pm). Talk to you soon...

Love,

Jimmy

MY REPLY

Hey sweetie, that's cool- I know you are busy and my email covers a lot that would stress anyone out. Thank you for your patient and graceful reply. I'm not trying to cause more stress or nag you about all these things but if someone doesn't say something they won't happen and at a certain point it will be too late, the wedding will fall apart or flop without structure and plans/goals accomplished. I just want it to go smoothly and it will only get more stressful if we don't confront what needs to be done now. Its true when they say avoiding things only makes it all the more worse. I just want things to be without too much complication and stress and although it may seem stressful, now, in the long run you will thank me as it will cause less pain/worry/anxiety/stress for our actual wedding day and honeymoon week. You will want that. I'll talk to you around one pm, don't forget to call!!

Love you, Me

spirometry + a conflicting situation. (more wedding stress)

7.11.08

on tuesday morning, early in the morn. we traveled about 40 minutes away to downtown tampa by davis island where tampa general hospital is located and the spirometry dept exists for patients referred there, to measure one's breath [how long you are able to hold it, inhale or exhale] - specializing in treatment of asthma patients. Jimmy accompanied me. We registered on one floor and got basic paper work put into the computer and then I was directed to another floor and wing of the hospital. Once I arrived, I was told to wait in this tiny three seater corner of a waiting room next to the spirometry testing area. It also seemed to be a place for stress-testing but possibly related to breathing?

Once called in, I got Virgil- an older african american man who was kind, funny, and amusing whom even Jimmy easily talked with and joked and liked right away as we talked of him afterwards. Virgil taught me to use an asthma inhaler properly and actually took about fifteen minutes to go step by step with me and then practice a few times having me do it alone to ensure I was doing it correctly as I had expressed that I felt I wasn't entirely sure IF how I was doing it was right and had trouble knowing what the right way was because I'd only been diagnosed a year or more ago and was still learning since the inhaler wasnt something I used frequently.

My asthma problem is newer than most and more minor than others who were born with it and have had it their whole lives. I think it amazed/shocked Virgil how I was prescribed these meds and all but none of the drs I had had taken the time to show me how to use inhalers or even tell me how to do it.

I tried learning by reading the directions and following them but when it comes to things like that I am not very coordinated physically and I suck at combining two actions at once. you have to be able to push down the inhaler which shoots out the medicine but only after youve taken a deep breath, blow it out and then suck the air back AS YOU PUSH the inhaler down quickly and hold it for 10 long seconds. I am telling you its hard and something that takes time to master. I suck at things that involve THIS kind of coordination. I am a bit of a klutz, I admit!

Virgil did not teach me the tricks of the trade when it comes to Inhalers til the end of my appointment but I know it was something that he kindly offered to me out of generosity and wanting to help, knowing I didnt even know the basics. He even gave me a spacer with is a plastic piece of tubing that goes on top of the inhaler to ensure the right amount of medicine so one doesn't over inhale etc. I thanked him at the end, really grateful a stranger would do this and surprised since working in a hospital, health profession nowadays does not mean getting a kind, helpful, genuinely people loving health care worker. In fact its often the opposite, people who are rude, cold, passive aggressive, rushed, unempathetic. It's sad what most of the health profession has come to.

These are people desensitized who've forgotten the meaning of their chosen profession and have become hardened- probably due to the stress of it all. I know firsthand since my mother is a nurse, RN, and is burned out and one of the most skilled people at not showing emotion and being cold when it serves her. But this techie who acted like a dr was very kind and had a fatherly feeling, the kind I never had but always wanted.

In any case, prior to learning how to inhale my asthma medication- albuterol, Virgil had set me up at a computer and sat me down in a comfortable chair. He set me up with this apparatus to breath into and a sort of tube to put my mouth over and suck the air out of. It was embarrassing. HE kept telling me I wasnt inhaling hard enough and Jimmy was laughing. I felt self conscious. You had to keep your lips tightly around this piece of plastic while inhaling and exhaling otherwise air escaped and your breathing could not be accurately measured on this machine. It took about three teachings and tries with the technician before I could even start the test. In the end, it probably took about forty mins for this test.

After we returned home, we watched some of this trial live on trutv which involved a local murder case where we lived by citrus park. trial of joshua rosa. napped and then were about to get ready in the mid afternoon to make a trip over to my parents to pick up my mother for a 7' o clock meeting with a photographer we had found that does both full ceremony/reception photography [bw, color and artistic styles] as well as provides a DJ for reception.

The company is known as Celebrations of Tampa Bay and we'd found a fantastic package deal online and it was not going to be any cheaper than that elsewhere as we'd researched hundreds of other places via wedding magazines and websites. This one was $1500.00 for the entire pkg of dj and photography and if you booked, a special coupon of one hundred dollars off.

Just as we were getting ready to get into the shower so we could get ready for this appt, my father called Jimmy's cell phone to basically put him on the spot and criticize him and his family in regard to this wedding. He complained how he had a junk car and needed a new one and how my mom had paid for a lot already in this wedding. He also accused her [she was not home and had made this call behind my mother's back] and us of running around behind his back and betraying him by signing up for things for the wedding she had paid for [ie. my dress, caterer, chapel hall etc.]

My father went on to tell Jimmy that his family needed to pay for a photographer if we wanted one because he wasnt allowing my mother to pay for it or at least pay for half. I didn't hear the whole convo since I wasn't on the phone but I was next to him and could hear snippets thru the cell and felt shocked, angry, pissed, irritated- it was just unbelievably out of line to not only call my fiance like that but to put down his family and make hostile remarks such as this.

He claimed that nowadays the groom's family paid for half of the wedding. Both Jimmy and I stated that that was not true and he was out of touch. It was the bride's side and it has always been that way and he could look at any magazine or book and that was what it was going to tell him. He didn't want to hear it though + proceeded to tell us that we should not come over there to pick up my mother and should cancel our appt with the photographer/dj as he was telling us he would not allow her to go or put any money down for us.

We were outraged. what a control freak. I felt both angry and upset that my father had humiliated my fiance like that. Jimmy was extremely upset to the point that he felt sick to his stomach all nite and like throwing up. He felt awkward and angry at my father and didn't even want to talk to him after this and still today prob wishes to have nothing to do with him if he has any choice. I don't blame him.

I felt my dad was out of line, inappropriate, manipulative and deceptive because he purposely called when he knew my mother would be out, before we were to pick her up to gain control over the situation because I think he is jealous. I knew my mother would be furious at him when she found out because she doesn't think like he does and would see what he did as low and manipulative. Plus, she loves Jimmy and it would hurt her that my father insulted him and his family, possibly making Jimmy not like them. So anyway my father said he'd have my mom call us to talk things over and find a solution but he didn't want us going over there or getting her that evening.

Both Jimmy and I were extremely upset and anxiety ridden. It was his day off and we had planned this and now we had to sit around waiting for my mom's call and not knowing what to do or how to fix things and being afraid to call over my house if my mom did not call..So we waited for an hr and a half and knew she had to be home by then and my father had said she'd call by then but she had not and we were growing more tense and nervous by the minute w/o any resolve. We tried calling her cell but no one answered. Then I finally emailed her via my computer, explaining we weren't angry at her but needed to talk with her after dad had attacked Jimmy on the phone and canceled our appt and wanted to straighten things out and felt fearful to call her house if my dad was going to answer and we were very upset at his out of line behavior - appalled.

This was the actual email sent:

Hi Mom,

Dad called Jimmy earlier and said he would have you call us at 4pm so we have been waiting for your call. Are you home yet? Dad advised that you and Jimmy talk on the phone and said for us to wait for your call. Please call us at Jimmy's number as soon as you read this. We'd try to call you now, but after the things dad was saying to Jimmy-- both of us are afraid to call. He told us to not come over today or pick you up. We don't know what to do about the appt and we were waiting to go out to eat with you and are hungry, but until we can talk and clear this up, we can't do anything without talking to you first. We tried calling your cell a few times, but no one is answering and don't know how we can reach you.

Please call us at Jimmy's number - as we are waiting for word from you. Thanks and I'm sorry if we've caused any inconvenience.
Love,
April

We decided we needed to eat something and could not wait any longer for my mom's call. I stated in the email for her to call Jimmy's cell. We went to Bennigan's- had soup and monte cristo. She called shortly before our food arrrived on the table. Jimmy said she was very apologetic and sounded very upset. She apologized up and down and said she was embarrassed/humliated and didn't agree with dad's behavior or approach and her and Jimmy agreed to work something out but do it without letting dad know. My mother at the end of her conversation with Jimmy actually told him, "Love you" and I heard him say it back. Every now and then my mom will write me short emails reminding me how wonderful Jimmy is, how lucky I am to have him, how nice he is, and generous and loving. There is something about him that she seems to really like and be touched by.

At times they remind me of each other. She is similar to Jimmy- strong, hardworking, ambitious, workaholic, people-person/loves people, outgoing, social, fun personality in social settings, adventurous, versatile, well-rounded.