turning seven. (memory preserved in video)

To my readers,

Here are the two videos of alexcia, that are sweet and enlightening. both are only seconds long and can be played quickly. Jimmy, my fiance is in first one while Alexcia begins with how she loves uncle al [my brother whom i am closest to]

Anyway in the video where alexcia mentions uncle al, she goes on to say how she loves me , parents and even my fiance. it is so so adorable!!!! Thats why I have to share this, warms my heart :D

And mom and I are in the second one. We're both talking a bit. as we sing happy birthday to Alexcia and she blows out her birthday cake candles!!!

Btw, I am always self conscious of MY SELF on the video camera [i am not shy of being in photographs and love it but with video, i feel insecure and shy. i hate my voice, hate how I look LOL but its only a few seconds and not too focused on me so I share this.

I think you may be able to tell either in here or in next entry with real sized pix from the birthday party- that I have indeed lost weight. Actually I think I look better than I have in the past year. I don't know. Its odd how severe sickness can transform you.

I'm still mystified, I confess.

September 27, 2008

Click here: MVI_3800 : Alexcia's 7th birthday-- " I love Uncle Al"... on Flickr - Photo Sharing!

Click here: MVI_3830 : Alexcia's 7th Birthday!! September 27, 2008 on Flickr - Photo Sharing!

Everyone, Please Let me know if you are able to view these and what you think :D

PS.

Will Post the pix in upcoming entry along with synopsis of my niece's 7th birthday as soon as time allows. I am still recovering from my ills + now Jimmy has come done with a flu of sorts. Both of us are bogged down and so time is a bit tight right now. I am going to be back later in the nite to post more about this past weekend and recent events over here.

Stay tuned.

alexcia in action.

end of august, alexcia playing ball with jimmy [who is not pictured- the guy in the background who is dark is my brother, alexcia's father. this is their place in clearwater.]













she has loved spongebob ever since a little baby- even when she couldn't walk yet and was still crawling. when she lived with me and my parents- i spent a lot of time watching her fave cartoons with her to bond and be with her, and i find these memories are some of my fondest ones. never really watched cartoons til she was born [i mean aside from when i was a child and growing up] so from her i learned new appreciation for cartoons and realized how in ways there is a lot of quirky humor in kid's cartoons that i really 'get' and think very amusing and also that some have real deep meanings behind them with moving stories and often lessons behind it. in ways i think these cartoons can appeal to adults- some seem to be dually for kids and their parents. i really liked that. spongebob was my fave for a long time and when i visit alexcia, if its on, we usually watch it together. i still find it pretty funny and enjoyable. :)

alexcia sweet alexcia, you remind me of me.

below back in july, a few pix of alexcia my niece and grammie [my mother] when we paid them a visit at my brother corky's in clearwater. he is not featured in the pix, my bro as he hates being in any! the last few are jimmy with alexcia that are quite adorable.

little alexcia has decided to give him and everyone massages whenever we come over now. she started doing this two visits ago and her new thing is to do give us foot massage and then back massage. she is so gentle, loving, cute, innocent and nurturing- warm.

of course my bro was getting mad at her for being so loving to jimmy as she is always kissing him and touching him. my bro kept repeating that she didn't belong touching anyone and that people would take advantage of her or hurt her down the road.

i understand his alarm and fears however he is the one who puts on inappropriate films and licks his lips and wags his tongue asking alexcia if he can have that girl wearing the thong or next to nothing clothing!! his taste in women are stripper, cheap porn looking hoochie type women. it makes me disgusted, to be quite honest and hate to have alexcia subjected to that at six yrs old but there's nothing u can do.

i am sure in america this is the norm of people -both men and women - in our current generation. all you have to do is take a look at whats out there in the latest reality tv shows and then you can see why people are how they are and why they glorify, put so much worth into women who are slutty, strippers, porn types. the simple truth is sex sells and sex is money.

i just think kids are overexposed to too much today and it really does unsettle and disturb me. and i'm not a prude really - i just have values and want to protect my own self worth.


in any case, i think alexcia gets a lot of mixed messages and hypocritical lessons from my brother her father. hopefully it doesnt warp her too much. i worry about when she starts dating and becomes interested in boys. i fear she will pick someone who will abuse her or control her or harm her, violate. i am hyperaware and hypersensitive because of my past history w/ sexual abuse and domestic violence and because i see clearly that my niece isn't being raised with very strong or protective foundations / nurturance and guidance from a positive male role model and i worry. if i were closer, to her, i'd feel a little less fearful but i am too far away to make much of an impact.



this is something i worry over constantly and every day.

anyway alexcia currently in pix below! she is 6 and turns 7 at the end of september 2008! I love the way her little tiny feet are crossed under her seat and those adorable little whtie sandals she is wearing- they are so so cute and she is growing up so fast!!! sometimes i see her, i mean often i see her, and she reminds me so much of myself as a child- we look a lot alike in my opinon-

strawberries n' chocolate in june- oh my!!

my adorable niece alexcia eating a rich chocolate covered strawberry off of some tantalizing dessert at carraba's. my fiance captured alexcia close up when she was not aware we were taking a picture, eating the strawberry, devouring it and savoring it - we found it hilarious and amusing! he zoomed in for the first two pix across the table as we were at a big booth and it was a bit of a post father day celebration since we werent able to make it out on the actual holiday. the last picture was taken by me, of my mother and alexcia still in love with her eating up every bit of her chocolate messy strawberry surprise!

the waiter was nice enough to surprise us with two free desserts on him for free for us all to share [a chocolate rich kind of layer cake and a whippedcream fruit with banana cake which is the one i thoroughly ate and enjoyed!] we're not sure why he gave us to free desserts but it sure was nice. the only thing we can figure is my dad is a regular customer there and requests this particular waiter all the time and tips him well. he is known by everyone there. LOL we tease him about this at times. anyway it was a good meal overall. jimmy had some brisotto beef entree and i had steak marsalla with mashed garlic potatoes as usual!