alexcia sweet alexcia, you remind me of me.

below back in july, a few pix of alexcia my niece and grammie [my mother] when we paid them a visit at my brother corky's in clearwater. he is not featured in the pix, my bro as he hates being in any! the last few are jimmy with alexcia that are quite adorable.

little alexcia has decided to give him and everyone massages whenever we come over now. she started doing this two visits ago and her new thing is to do give us foot massage and then back massage. she is so gentle, loving, cute, innocent and nurturing- warm.

of course my bro was getting mad at her for being so loving to jimmy as she is always kissing him and touching him. my bro kept repeating that she didn't belong touching anyone and that people would take advantage of her or hurt her down the road.

i understand his alarm and fears however he is the one who puts on inappropriate films and licks his lips and wags his tongue asking alexcia if he can have that girl wearing the thong or next to nothing clothing!! his taste in women are stripper, cheap porn looking hoochie type women. it makes me disgusted, to be quite honest and hate to have alexcia subjected to that at six yrs old but there's nothing u can do.

i am sure in america this is the norm of people -both men and women - in our current generation. all you have to do is take a look at whats out there in the latest reality tv shows and then you can see why people are how they are and why they glorify, put so much worth into women who are slutty, strippers, porn types. the simple truth is sex sells and sex is money.

i just think kids are overexposed to too much today and it really does unsettle and disturb me. and i'm not a prude really - i just have values and want to protect my own self worth.


in any case, i think alexcia gets a lot of mixed messages and hypocritical lessons from my brother her father. hopefully it doesnt warp her too much. i worry about when she starts dating and becomes interested in boys. i fear she will pick someone who will abuse her or control her or harm her, violate. i am hyperaware and hypersensitive because of my past history w/ sexual abuse and domestic violence and because i see clearly that my niece isn't being raised with very strong or protective foundations / nurturance and guidance from a positive male role model and i worry. if i were closer, to her, i'd feel a little less fearful but i am too far away to make much of an impact.



this is something i worry over constantly and every day.

anyway alexcia currently in pix below! she is 6 and turns 7 at the end of september 2008! I love the way her little tiny feet are crossed under her seat and those adorable little whtie sandals she is wearing- they are so so cute and she is growing up so fast!!! sometimes i see her, i mean often i see her, and she reminds me so much of myself as a child- we look a lot alike in my opinon-