Stay tuned for following entries to be more catch-up related entries.
I am planning to do a series of pictorial entries based on our July two day trip to Sarasota. We got some really pretty pix, some cool ones and I've been really eager to share this with everyone ever since we got back from that trip but life has been so crazy and non-stop that I just haven't had the time til now.
I'll try to post and share the Sarasota trip in segments but it will be either tonite or later in the weekend that I start on that. I only have about an hour left to write in here before Jimmy gets home and our wkend begins so I have to be quick...
By the way, it is gonna be a busy weekend again. We head out to Jimmy's parents in Inverness tomorrow to see them and his dad for his birthday. JOY!
I hope I will not have to hear her [his mother's] incessant harping and criticizing otherwise I might burst.
I really mean it- she sometimes has a way of pushing me that makes me feel I might explode on her and in front of everyone there. It has gotten close in the past and I try to keep my cool but I am always on the edge of losing it. I admit.
Nothing grates on my nerves more than someone harping and telling someone how they should run their lives and making that person feel small and tiny and worthless. It fucking PISSES me off.
I also do not enjoy it over there since the tvs are always on in the living room, huge surround sound one and outside by the pool. I feel they are at times dominated by TV and have nothing better to do. they arent interested in other things, interactive things, games, reading, talking, doing other things besides tv.
The worst part of it is the tv is always turned on to ESPN sport channels and nothing else and I am stuck watching or ignoring something on the screen that bores me to tears, makes me wish I could go home, and I don't find it relaxing, fun or exciting. I don't get it and its impossible to read with a loud hoot and hollering crowded game going on. I just cant so often I will nap or sleep while they spend hrs watching.
He has remarked sarcastically that I always sleep when I'm there well its cos we are there for one or two days and I am stuck bored out of my mind because the only thing they do is watch tv and watch the thing i hate and am bored by the most in the world, sports.
If anyone was forced to watch tv the entire time they were visiting someone and could only watch a channel or show that bored them or they hated, I think they would give in to sleeping to escape as well. It's just logical natural human reaction. I don't look forward to visiting his parents because there's very little to find excitement over. Maybe if we actually watched movies or things I liked my attitude would change but everything revolves around what the father wants and the mother caters to it all. thats why I get frustrated at times with Jimmy.
I sometimes feel he expects me to be like his mother, voiceless, unassertive, does only what father likes, forgets about her own ideals/likes/wants - puts husband over herself, has no self identity. I absolutely REFUSE to be that sort of woman. Most of our fights are really about my fear of being oppressed as a woman. I am feisty yes, but I am feisty because growing up I had to be.
I hope our time at Jimmy's parents goes fast without incident. He hasn't stated if we are spending the nite. Often he likes to do that if possible and I absolutely hate it, hate being in someone elses place with someone elses things and someone elses rules. I am not comfortable, can never sleep or feel relaxed. I hate it. They only live an hour and a half away , driving so there isn't any reason why we need to spend the nite other than Jimmy is very close to his family and also his parents nag him when he is not spending the nite and make him feel guilty. yes they are controlling in my eyes but he'd probably say that this means they are loving. I kind of see it differently but I don't say a word.
Oh and some very RANDOM pix before I end this one!
Some pix of my cutie kitty noelle in my closet in the office room :D
..and Jimmy bought these funny snacks over at Walgreens last weekend. I found them really hilarious and amusing so I took a few pix of them to share with everyone :D
And...Jimmy taking a load off on our futon couch last weekend.
I mainly took this picture to show off our new futon cover which I love - the softness, and color/pattern- it fits so perfectly with a lot of the colors we already have in our place..its brown/champagne yellow/bluegreen/ sage green shades in stripes. we got this cover on sale and with ten dollars off at Bed, Bath and Beyond last month. I find it so so cute :D
More Misc. Random Pix:
Really happy and excited to get these stackable bins in one of my fave colors in clear plastic at Target on sale last weekend. the top was so cute and was meant for a dorm, stackable plastic little bins that looks like a makeup kit when its all put together.
I like to compartmentalize everything I have and enjoy organizing and obsessively reorganizing things in general [kinda ocd but not really, jsut relaxes me. I know I'm strange] and thought this was so cool for when we do go on little trips like visiting jimmy's parents and I need my beauty products and shower stuff with me- perfect for travel and it was only 5.99.
The other two storage I plan to use for my sentimental journals, mementos and to put away clothing im not wearing right now in my closet to make more space. I love anything that promotes space saving. im always looking for new and innovative space saving furniture everytime we visit target or bed bath and beyond.
I LOVE my new converse manilla colored canvas tote bag which I bought last weekend. That was my impulsive buy of the month for 19.99. I think its so cute and cool looking and quite different than anything I own currently- that is why I wanted it plus perfect for the pool, beach, traveling, and the list goes on.
I love bags that can be used in many versatile ways and are practical enough to be used in many different life situations! Plus I gravitate towards the brands and styles related to surf and skateboarders alike! Love other brands like roxy, billabong, + the like! :)
I most love the snaps on the bag with outer pockets and also the star symbol log on the snaps itself. If anyone hasn't guessed, very into fashion and design.
One of Jimmy and I's most favorite shows we watch every single week is Project Runway. Ive been a fashion junkie since a teenager and collect fashion mags and have files of stuff and binders of favorite fashion photography from the past 10 or so years.
In highschool, and early college, I was gravitating towards going into the career of Fashion Merchandizing and being a Fashion Buyer but due to antisocial personality and lack of business sense, that dream was quickly diverted into psychology and then into writing. All there are still strong interests and desires and talents of mine.
I still am fascinated most by fashion illustration, fashion editing and fashion photography. It'd be my dream to delve into any of those subjects. I'd love to put together a magazine. that may even dabble into graphic design but I feel technically- I suck and without a photo or graphic design degree- it is nothing more than a mere dream.
My brother allister in cali is a graphic designer and also has a dual degree in photography and is an artistic gifted person. I always wish I were more like him. I think he takes amazing pix and he just shared with us the other day all his pix and videos from his trip to Japan, it was both interesting and entertaining and the architecure design and detail of the buildings was exquisitely beautiful in craftmanship and design.
I think both Jimmy and I dream of going there one day, Jimmy even more so who is a big sushi lover [ps I hate sushi, it makes me want to vomit LOL but i am interested in japan for its beautiful visuals, technology, and artistic buildings and architecture. the food, unless cooked, i have minor interest in LOL]
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New Journals I bought mostly from Borders last month and elsewhere [ps Im a journal junkie too, I collect and use them for various projects, words, thoughts, feelings and things of inspiration. Ive been this way ever since a child. I am and have always been truly a writer and recorder of memories, experiences, and influences all around me in pop culture, media, fashion, film, music/songs/lyrics and literature/symbolism/metaphors and dreams- whatever is going on at that time can always be found in my personal at home journals. I am one of those nostalgic people that is very attached to everything I experience and thrives on remembering past and present- often. especially past. whether good or bad. I thrive on feelings and memories. Its what keeps me and brings me truly ALIVE.
a borders journal above i found on clearance at borders in july. its spacey and out of this world, so it appealed to me :D
Some pages from my new notebook which I've designated for my scrapbooking project of styles I love in terms of haircuts, color, and makeup/beauty as well as fashion. i just began creating this last week.
below is the first page of the section for haircuts i love for myself, the second one after this is of a makeup style that i tend to be drawn towards. i like the sultry smokey eyed look with natural or mauve colored toned down lips. that is what i am gravitating towards for my wedding day. its an evening look that i think is very flattering on my coloring and representative of my personal style when i am made up. i most prefer the black eyeliner cat-eye or french lined look whether natural or made-up.i also am inclined towards the gothic cleopatra style black lined eyes with a lot of black mascara. i love dramatic looks!
In the past ive always had my hair in bob cut styles that angle towards the chin, and they flattered my facial features and shape. however now that ive gained weight, i dont think i could pull it off. ive had long hair for several years and most of my life have oscillated b/t short cuts like above and my long sorta natural wavy styled hair. most of the time i have it up in a scrunchie mainly for convenience and because its always hot here weather wise. But lately because I think I look fat if my hair is down. I feel it overemphasizes how round and heavy my face really is now that ive put on pounds and feel very unconfident to wear it down nowadays. my hair is pretty close to as long as it was in previous entry but not quite. If i don't cut it til the wedding, it would prob be as long as the 2006 picture i posted last nite if not longer than that. i think i will trim it up an inch or maybe a few inches prior to the wedding though!
Other Journals I got:
[the end--- for now!!]
