August 12.2008
Has anyone watched the olympics? Jimmy is a fanatic about it and about american teams. and thats all his family watched 24/7 when we visited last Saturday. after hrs of it, I decided to go into the guest bedroom and watch a real tv show I liked by myself alone and then went to sleep there. I was so bored. they spent all day watching olympics and then all nite baseball. then olympics after I woke up from the nap and I had to argue just to get him to leave the tv so we could make our drive home.
I dont mind the olympics a little [like once or twice a week or at least spread out so its not everyday] but not every single day. however jimmy is not the same. he would like to watch it every single nite and day but has RECENTLY tried to compromise because of me [well see how long that lasts] but only because i got angry on Tuesday and pissed off after 4 or more days of constant sport coverage and olympics and not having a say in watching something NON olympics when it is my place too and I live here. i couldnt take it and it gave me a headache/migraine strength.I just couldnt imagine 17 days, day and nite of olympics which is originally what Jimmy intended and planned on doing/ watching it every nite til he went to bed and nothing else. meaning he didnt care if i wanted to watch something else other than sports and if i was stuck watching olympics the entire nite everyday until the olympics ends, it would not bother him at all. I found it highly selfish. and immature. I believe in taking turns and sharing but like a typical male, that concept is hard for him to fathom or practice with me.
I just couldnt tolerate this. i want some variety on the tv and to be able to watch some things that we both like and that are relaxing. sports is noisy and involves a lot of yelling/cheering. i cannot even read a book or do anything relaxing when that racket is on and everything i enjoy doing is in the living room not in the back bedroom. I felt he was being very unfair and man-like, one sided, reminded me of dad and having no say in my own house.
Anyway after i blew up earlier this week, he took a break from the olympics but he has recorded it everyday and that is about 3-5 hrs of sports to watch and since he wants to be caught up everyday on olympics, it means that I have ended up watching it more than i even cared for or intended to.
When we fought earlier in the week, he told me he had never seen anyone NOT into the olympics [i looked at his parents and family friends and knew exactly why. all of them are sports fanatics and remind me of the jocks/cheerleaders i hated in hschl who NEVER understood me and looked down on me for not being athletic or liking athletics. they bullied me, made fun of me, and ridiculed me for being nerdy and NONathletic in highschool. his family attitude reminds me of the people who made me ashamed of who i was and who never truly accepted me for being different and who also judged me harshly and were very superficial mean spirited people. I have never been into sports and never will be. they need to learn to realize im not them, i am myself and to accept who i am. everyone is different and just because i dont like sports doesnt make me a bad person or abnormal or lower than them.]
In the same above fight, Jimmy told me I was abnormal for not being into the olympics. he also said its abnormal i never watched it much before him. the times i did watch it was like one or two nites out of the entire summer and only the competitions i liked like the gymnastic dances and the diving. so it wasnt like i was forced to watch the parts i felt were boring and i certainly didnt have to watch it every waking moment i was alive. When someone is forced to like something or forced without any choice to do or watch something- its only human nature that you become turned off to it and begin to hate it and eventually despise/resent whatever is being forced on you.
Jimmy also had to watch the entire olympic chinese opening ceremony last Friday. i was so bored, and lonely that nite. I was mostly was on the computer, outside smoking or fell asleep during the nearly five hrs of coverage.
a lot of the olympics is incredibly boring- like volleyball and canoeing and stuff like that. but jimmy LOVES it all. even the boring sports.
tonite, we were watching the gymnastics portion and this was the only time I enjoyed watching the olympics since it started last week, I have to admit.
I liked this series better because i find it more exciting/challenging when its more than just floor exercises as it can be a little boring and tediuous to watch for hours. and i also think watching the men perform is more exciting than the women and the beginning focused mainly on the men gymnasts on balance beam and on the trapeze thing.
I preferred the balance beam competitions in the men and women's divisions that we saw tonite. i could not watch it for days in a row though like jimmy.
Also I tend to like the NON american teams- like the russians and the chinese and he is the type who puts down anyone who isnt american and makes annoying rude comments while they are performing, like yelling screw up to that chinese girl who is actually one of my faves after watching her tonite along with the russian girls who I think really have a natural grace and agility to perform more than the american girls do !!
I hate people like that, who will only cheer for americans and will BOO anyone from any other country in the USA. i think its stupid, immature and almost catty/childish, snobby. superficial judgemental. closeminded.
That's probably why i hate sports and jocks/ sport-fanatics because they are only for one team or one state or one country and arent interested in seeing others and like to make put-down rude sarcastic remarks towards anyone not on the team they love [whether it be USA or the state of FL].
i like to watch performers and make my own decision that isnt always dependent on IF they are american or not. i tend to like the european performers best.
jimmy would prob be annoyed if he knew i was saying this. but i just do NOT get what the big deal is about olympics or why anyone would be that obsessed!! I really dont care. I would not care if I missed it at all and it wouldnt change my life but the way he acts, he cant live without seeing the olympics every single day it is aired and if he does, its like he might have a heart attack because he has to be watching it so he can talk to everyone around him since it seems everyone he associates with in life are all sport fanatics. everyone except for me!! I simply dont get it or understand why he even wanted someone like me if sports and being into sports is such an important priority for him and for the girl he spends his time with.
Jimmy's mom calls everyday and when he isnt watching a sport game or prob the olympics, she quizzes him and acts like there is something wrong if he isn't because she is!!! I feel like if he isnt watching it that she secretly believes I am manipulating him into not watching sports and that she resents me and blames things on me since she knows Im not into sports and I know by her past reactions, she thinks its weird and abnormal that I am not and taht Jimmy picked a girl who isn't sporty or into that kind of thing.
His mom as usual made some sarcastic comments about the fact that I do not cook, towards me. Her along with her two female friends ganged up on me - making sarcastic comments how they cant believe I am not into cooking as if every woman is. and also how they think I should love to cook and his mom again insulted me with her: "Well you just have to learn to LOVE it. I DID because I had to, I was forced to. Thats what you have to and need to do." I didnt respond much but I wasnt going to let her manipulate/pressure me with that and said simply, Its not for me and when they kept pushing, I made sure to say things in a tone that they could tell I was going to get very angry if they kept pushing my buttons.
I nearly blew up. i told them i found food uninteresting and boring and didnt really care about eating much or food, it didnt excite me. I was sarcastic back towards them and I believe they noticed it. I was sarcastic because they were telling me how i should feel and very rude, putting me on the spot and trying to belittle me, scrutinize who I am in front of everyone and in the pool. It felt very humiliating and I feel she does it on purpose. Its NOT the first time.
I overheard her critiquing jimmy yesterday that i dont cook and he does and that its wrong and he is quote, "too easy". [in other words she thinks he lets me get away with murder and taht I dont treat him right. which means she feels I am not good enough for her son. I always feel she thinks that about me and I know its not my imagination. I am annoyed over this still. I could never handle living in the same vicinity as her or having to be in her home for more than a few days. I would go insane. She is controlling and constantly critical, judgemental of others. she may not realize it but its the sort of energy I do not want around me. I cant stand people who make me feel like I am lower than they are and that no matter what you do, its not impressive enough. No wonder Jimmy has so many issues of self doubt and lacks confidence in himself, never thinks he is good enough or successful enough. I feel sad for him that this is what makes him that way.
His mom was also trying to insist i need to go to a tanning salon for my wedding day to have tan skin since i got sort of burned. and she said if i wanted to be perfect, id want to go tanning once. i dont want to be tan and i tried to tell them all i hate tanning esp fake tanning and dont think it looks good, think it looks fake [ugly, leathery like lizard] they told me i was weird. i know why they said this. its cos they look like the ones i think look horrible, overly tanned, leathery and aging from being overly in the sun. i bit my lip but i felt like i was going to blow up.
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I got this VSL that seems to echo my sentiment about the olympics, that its truly OVERrated and that there are actually some normal intelligent people who are NOT into olympics and whose lives do not revolve around silly sports!! HA- I sent it to Jimmy during his crazed obsessive days with cramming as much olympic activity into our days/nites as he could!
Why we’d rather watch the Olympics in Britain
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