back after a week of vacation- catching up!!

We were on vacation last week and in and out of town so much that I wasn't online in any capacity during the week and weekend which is why I have not updated until today.

I hope to catch up shortly as I get resettled back into life and our normal everyday routine. I plan to share pix from our recent trip/outings in Sarasota and on Lido Beach and Siesta Key Beach- but need to upload still and have been so exhausted since our tiny trip. It was fun and good for us as a whole.

I will write of this another time and share the photos soon! also over the weekend, i met up with Jenni, who will be my matron of honor in my wedding. We have chosen the bridesmaid dress and had an appt at david's bridal she will be getting the version of dress in Victorian Lilac but for now here is a pic of how it will look off the website online.



Style 8567
Shown in Victorian Lilac

Jenni ordered the above dress for my wedding at the store. it cost 155.00 and she got a 20 discount since i had bought my wedding gown there. our other bridesmaid Shannon [wife of jimmy's brother] called me after that afternoon and i shared with her the dress choice and style number. she plans to get hers this week and send jenni and i an email when that occurs and of her current hairstyle since she cut it recently to below her shoulders and we need to start considering hairstyles for the wedding.

I know I will do an updo and jenni is considering the same but both of us have long hair, longer than shannon's so it may depend on her style- what jenni can do since they sorta have to match!

We also spent some time looking at michael's arts and crafts. jimmy and i later went back there alone together and got some ideas for saving money on wedding party favors decorations etc. will talk more on that when i have more available time to write, later!

I also had two dr appts in the span of the past week. With so much running around and being on vacation, I've hardly had the time to write.

I have also been absorbed by this latest court tv case which has live trial coverage for six hrs daily and started a wk ago and is nearly done. its even more fascinating since its near the area ive shopped in, and where my friend Jenni lives- Citrus Park, outside of Tampa or at the outskirts of Tampa.

The crime actually occurred in logan gate park which ive never seen personally but the court trying it is in tampa and the boy charged with murder near us. he is 21 or 22 now but was 19 when crime was committed. his name is Joshua Rosa- accused of killing 13 yr old Stephen Tomlinson whom he was friends/neighbors with and his youth church minister leader of this Pentecostal church called zion. A lot of the clues seem to paint him to be guilty, like having white church gloves in his pocket with blood on it, a flashlight seen running from the park, and nailclippers in his pocket to name a few. Plus his keys were found b/t victim's legs.

The victim died of strangulation and contusions to neck, also his shorts were pulled all the way down to his ankle. The defense of Joshua Rosa is that he had found the body and was trying to help. I think it's way beyond coicidence and sure is super suspicious. Both Jimmy and I think he is guilty and he has been watching the trial with me.

You can find out more on that case at www.cnn.com/crime

The verdict may be released any day now-- maybe even today. I am behind and must catch up on my dvd - r recordings of today's live trial. I just haven't had time as I am trying to get back into the swing of things and spent most of today readjusting back to my routine prior to vacation and also catching up here.

Btw, somewhat off topic but prompted by so much media and hype online about summer blockbusters....

My fiance really wants to see the dark knight and like most is intrigued by Heath's role. I could care less. I know it's not hip, but the overhype of it all, turns me off and I have little interest because of that.

Second, I just don't get Christian Bale as an actor and find him boring!! We rented the first Batman film last month since I had never seen it but my fiance had and loved it..I was hoping I might like it. But truthfully, I did not. I was bored to death and couldnt wait for it to end. lol. I know its not popular but im generally not a fan of superheroe type movies esp ones of this caliber or of the mainstream! It's just not my cup of tea!

I have suggested he ask his best friend to go with him the coming weekend or so and they talked and said they'd like to do that as his bestfriend Tony's wife has no interest in seeing that movie either so I guess I am not the only woman haha!

Jimmy returned to work today as his vacation came to an end yesterday. I have to cut out for now but will continue updating tomorrow and work on uploading all our new pix from our trip in sarasota recently and from recent house hunting this weekend.

More soon, I promise!!! :D

entwistle.

i watched this entire trial on court tv now called "truTV" they changed their name - during the past two weeks i was very ill with asthma and unable to do much else.

it was one of the most riveting, intriguing, and shocking of murder case trials i have ever seen and i have watched a few choice ones in the past year - some lasting several months- example: phil spector and that fertility nurse melanie or melody- what was her name? the one whose gambling husband was found body parts divided in luggage off the east coast - anyway it was a high profile case.

but the one i just finished watching and was a relatively short and suspenseful- if NOT- unusual trial was the murder trial of neil entwistle's which had evidence and proof that he did so many things that pointed towards guilt that he definitely seemed guilty of what he was charged with and very bizarre, off- something not right about him. He seemed very cold, without emotion or remorse,and narcissistic/ self absorbed in court although he did not speak at ALL in the trial or in any interviews. he was silent and did not testify on the stand.

simply it was neil entwistle's quiet glaring and rolling or rather blinking of eyes in utter annoyance that made him seem highly self involved and completely heartless, lacking a conscience and in turn- completely guilty.

the defense [neil's attorney weinstein and stephanie page] made a plea of innocence [which i do not believe at all] and professed the murder was a suicide and that the wife had killed their baby before killing herself. i really don't think so. i would think that is more likely to happen [killing of infant and then self] with a man than a woman. i just could not imagine it and the jury could not either and all voted - guilty, murder in the first degree on two counts.
for those that don't know or haven't heard of this case: simply- neil entwistle who was from england was living with his wife rachel [who was american and had met him in england.] they had moved back by her family in Massachusetts after their baby lillian [often called lily for short] was born.

a week after living in their newly rented home which was over 2 thous. a month, one day out of the blue, rachel and their child who was 9 months old and a baby were found dead, shot to death in bed. a bullet thru the baby's stomach which directly entered rachel's breast and a bullet to rachel's head.

neil entwistle later claimed to find the body, cover them up and not know what to do, so he fled the home, drove around, went to the airport, and flew back to england essentially running away. [it was days before concerned family of rachel's sent over police officers to search for her when she was not heard from - they later found the bodies- the police after searching the home twice i think, and not seeing the bodies which were under covers the first time. it was not realized right away that her husband neil entwistle had fled or where he was at that time.

it looked very guilty that neil had fled to the UK and not reported the dead bodies let alone called 911 because he claimed "he didn't know what to do" and couldnt deal with it. he later was extradited and brought back to the US, charged with the murders and expected to stand trial. the murder occurred in january of 2006 and he had been in jail since arrested and charged up until this trial aired on court/tru-TV- channel 55 on cable.

all evidence in the case pointed to neil's strange detachment to his wife and child and to his guilt. not to mention there was evidence he was searching on the computer while the dead bodies were there for jobs, flights home and escort/call girl services.

well, he got what he deserved in the trial and it was a tragic and chilling/haunting case that really is incomprehensible. he got life for both and will be stuck in prison in MA now and is unable to go back to england.

here is a copy of the cnn story on this the nite the guilty verdict was handed down which i had sent to my email.

i like court case esp murder trials and convictions. part of it is distraction from one self but also fascination with human behavior, analyzation. and then again, its also that i enjoy seeing victims and family receive the sort of justice they rightly deserve.

Click here: Entwistle guilty of murdering wife, baby - CNN.com

Entwistle guilty of murdering wife, baby
Story Highlights
NEW: Family maintains his innocence; attorney plans appeal
Entwistle convicted on two charges of first-degree murder
Defense said wife killed herself and husband covered up to "protect her honor"
Prosecutors argued that Entwistle killed family because of sex life, debts
Next Article in Crime »

(CNN) -- A man who fled the United States for his native England after his wife and daughter were killed was found guilty of their murders Wednesday.

Neil Entwistle, 29, repeatedly closed his eyes and shook his head as the foreman read the verdict: guilty of two first-degree murder charges, possession of a firearm and possession of ammunition.

The jury in Woburn, Massachusetts, deliberated for less than 12 hours before reaching the verdict.

Entwistle faces up to life in prison without the possibility of parole when he is sentenced at 10 a.m. Thursday. Watch Entwistle react as the verdict is read »

During the trial, prosecutors said Entwistle was in debt and dissatisfied with his sex life when he fatally shot Rachel Entwistle and 9-month old Lillian as the two snuggled in bed.

"We may never know why this happened. But we do know that Rachel and Lillian Rose loved and trusted Neil Entwistle," Joseph Flaherty, a spokesman for Rachel Entwistle's family, said after the verdict.

"Neil Entwistle's actions on January 20, 2006, betrayed that love and trust. Neil Entwistle will now live with his evil deeds for the rest of his natural life, only to be judged again," the family said. Watch the victims' family thank the public for its support »

With the verdict, the jury rejected a defense claim that Rachel Entwistle killed Lillian and then committed suicide. Entwistle claimed that he returned the gun to his father-in-law's home 50 miles away because he wanted to preserve his wife's honor.

Outside the courthouse, Entwistle's parents continued to assert their son's innocence.
"Our son will now go to jail for loving, honoring and protecting his wife and Lillian," Yvonne Entwistle said, adding that she knew her daughter-in-law was "depressed." Watch Entwistle's mother assert he is innocent »

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Find Law: Read the criminal complaint

"We will continue to fight for our innocent son with the hope that one day, justice will prevail and that our little granddaughter Lily will rest in peace," she said.

After the verdict, defense lawyer Peter Park said he was confident that an appeal would prevail on the grounds that police entered Entwistle's home illegally on two occasions.
Defense lawyers did not call any witnesses.

Police in Hopkinton, Massachusetts, discovered the bodies of Rachel, 27, and Lillian in the master bedroom of their home January 22, 2006, after responding to a missing persons report filed by the victims' relatives. Authorities said the two were killed two days before. See a timeline of the Entwistle case »

Entwistle told police in a phone call January 23 that he found his wife and daughter dead from gunshot wounds January 20 after returning from running errands. He told authorities he could see "a gunshot wound on Lillian's body and blood around her mouth."
He did not call police. Instead, he said, he got a knife to kill himself but "could not go through with it."

He said he then drove to his in-laws' home to get a gun to kill himself but could not get into the home. He also told police he was unable to contact his mother-in-law, he told police. See Entwistle break down in court during testimony »

Eventually, he said, he drove to Boston's Logan International Airport because he "wanted to go home to his parents in England." British police arrested him the following month.
Prosecutors doubted Entwistle's story. He had not worked for four months before the murders, and the family was paying $2,700 a month for their home, leading police to believe that financial problems may have played a role in the slayings.

Authorities discovered that, days before the murders, Entwistle looked at a Web site that described "how to kill people by various methods" and launched Internet searches on suicide, euthanasia and "how to kill someone with a knife," the documents said.
He also searched for escort services near his home, according to search warrants, including Eye Candy Entertainment, Exotic Express and Sweet Temptations.

Prosecutors said that the victims' gunshot wounds were not easily visible and that he would not have been able to see them without careful examination.

Court documents show that it took investigators and forensic chemists several hours to determine that the baby had been shot and that her gunshot wound was visible only after her mother's body had been moved.

After the verdict, Middlesex County District Attorney Gerry Leone condemned the defendant for "disparaging" the memory of his wife with the suicide claims. He said the verdict brought justice to Rachel and Lillian, who would have turned 3 years old this April.

"She should be here walking, talking and playing, with her mom, Rachel, doting over her," Leone said. "But we all now know that's not going to happen, and that's not going to happen because of the reprehensible acts of Neil Entwistle."

Asked about Entwistle's parents' comments, Leone said he would expect "nothing less" from the parents of a man who had been convicted of murder.

"Frankly, our thoughts are with them too," he said.

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high anxiety, asthma, other preoccupations + wedding related ideas.

Last week I felt really swamped, we had something to do virtually everyday and Jimmy's 18 yr old nephew staying with us Thurs- Sat. After that I didn't even feel like doing anything or being social and have been too emotionally drained to do much of anything including log into my diary or write period. I will soon when I regain my energy.

It's just lately I've been drained and my asthma has been really bad, sometimes to the point I feel like going to an emergency room or dr. I can barely breathe even with taking the albuterol inhaler :/ And someone has been letting their outdoor cat spray all over their patio or something because when I go out on our patio lately [the past month] you can smell pneumonia like urine all over our own outdoor patio as if it is permeated with that smell and that smell alone triggers an asthma attack. it totally sucks and the heat is driving me insane.

Right now, both Jimmy and I have been reading this book we bought at borders by Jon Krakauer- its called Under the banner of Heaven. Its compelling but disturbing about the mormons and polygamist sects which is tied to a true murder of a mother and child, so it's a true crime book but it has a lot of history and background on the fundamentalist mormons [the ones who practice polygamy and engage frequently in incest like the one that was all over the news a few mos ago where the kids were taken away. It's really quite twisted and sick how this religion is and sounds more like a cult than a religion.]

Other than that, we got a few samples of wedding invitation styles from Invitations by Dawn, three. We aren't sure if we want to go with them though as we are waiting for a few samples from David's Bridal of wedding invite styles and there's this one website called tinyprints.com I want to investigate that Jimmy's friend Colleen sent a card from for her baby announcement that is really nice quality. I went on the site and noticed there are wedding invitations to choose from by them also and want to look into the tinyprints site more before making a decision on wedding invites. We are going to be looking at them together and then we'll make a decision based on both of our opinions.

We also borrowed a wedding vow book that was written by Jimmy's parents cousin, which has some nice ones for the wedding vow, ring vow and blessings. There are some beautiful ones and I'm waiting to see if Jimmy likes the ones I picked out or if he'd rather have a different one before finalizing the decision and emailing the words we want for our ceremony to the minister.

These were the ones I liked- they are simple but romantic, and meaningful with metaphors.


For Wedding Ceremony- from book, these are the ones I liked most:

WEDDING VOW

[below is my most favorite and only favorite as there was nothing else to me that was as beautiful as the one below. this particular vow is probably a fairly traditional style of wedding vow but i prefer this one the most out of everything because all the words are completely indicative of what marriage and love should include and involve.]

I, Jimmy, take you, April, to be my partner in life./ I promise to walk by your side forever,/ and to love, help and encourage you/ in all you do./ I will take time to talk with you,/ listen to you,/ and to care for you./ I will share your laughter and your tears/ as your partner, lover, and best friend./ Everything I am and everything I have is yours/ now and forevermore.

I, April, give myself to you, Jimmy,/ on this our wedding day./ I will cherish our friendship,/ and love you today, tomorrow and forever./ I will trust you and honor you./ I will love you faithfully/ through the best and worst,/through the difficult and the easy./ What may come, I will be there always./ As I have given you my hand to hold,/ so I give you my life to keep.


Ring Exchange Vows [either number one or two]:

1. April, this ring is a token of my love./ I marry you with this ring,/ with all that I have and all that I am.

Jimmy, I will forever wear this ring/ as a sign of my commitment/ and the desire of my heart.

OR-

2. You are more precious to me today than yesterday,/ and you will be more cherished tomorrow than you are today./ Please wear this ring/ as a symbol of my eternal love for you,/ a love that transcends all of our yesterdays,/ all of our todays,/ and all of our tomorrows.

Prayers/Blessings [i think Jimmy preferred no. one and thought the second one was a little tacky]

1. May God bless you with Hope enough to keep sunshine in your love, and Fear enough to keep you holding hands in the dark; Unity enough to keep your roots entwined, and Separation enough to keep you reaching for each other; Harmony enough to keep romance in your song, and Discord enough to keep you tuning your love so it becomes sweet music to all who may hear it.

OR-

2. May these two rings symbolize the spirit of undying love in each of your hearts. Wherever you go, may you always return to one another in your togetherness. May the home you establish be such a place of peace and joy that many will find there a friend. May your love for each other be as a pebble dropped in a pond of water. Like the ripples in the water that cross and recross one another's, may your love touch and retouch all those around you throughout your life together.

+++

Aside from all this- I've been struggling with asthma and this past week was bad and today is still bad. My dr appt with a new primary physician isn't til June 27th and I couldn't make it sooner due to being a new patient and them being booked. But I am now anxiously counting down the days because Ive run out of advair which helped the asthma and chest tightness a lot and only have an inhaler of albuterol which just doesnt seem to help much and is only supposed to be used for emergencies. Right now I am using it everyday according to prescription because I can barely breathe and the humid weather has triggered my asthma.

I also have a dental filling this Friday. and then a psychiatrist appt July 11th, I think.

All these appts are nerve wracking but necessary and I'm dreading this week because I am about to run out of the tranquilizer I have been taking by my last dr. for two months now and I am going to be in trouble when I run out since its helped my anxiety immensely and made me able to sleep at nite and avoid intense insomnia. Without it, I am destined for being up all nite, being anxious and not getting any good restful sleep. I am worried/stressed over that and will have to struggle/suffer til the July appt and even then I cannot guarantee that dr [who will be new to me] will even prescribe the tranquilizer I was put on. Unfortunately I've become dependent on it as I've tried taking benadryl and other herbal sleep drugs for years, none of them worked. Only the tranquilizer [lorazepam] worked. :/

The anxiety about the above thing occurring is overwhelming and dreadful. I have 8 anxiety pills left and am prescribed three a day as needed. I usually take b/t two and three a night and it takes the edge off of my anxiety, manic feelings. What am I going to do when I run out? I am screwed and it IS stressing me out.

I hope to god that new psychiatrist will re-prescribe the benzodiazepene for me OR at least put me on an anti-anxiety medication. I already know it is a given I will have to be put back on a low dosage of depakote and I am less than thrilled but I know no other way to gain control of mood swings or restabilize myself. :/ I promise to catch up as soon as I am feeling better than this.
I woke up having an asthma attack this morning triggered by Jimmy's perfume and hairspraying. He uses both a lot and I asked him last year to use his hairspray in the bathroom separate from our master bedroom because that is how much it bothers my breathing and he has done that ever since but he always sprays perfume in our bedroom and they are very strong scents he wears.

When my asthma is not bothering me or it is a season where I feel less bothered by allergies, I can handle it. But, I am not able to handle it right now because of this past week's INTENSE asthma troubles that have not gone away at all. I know it sounds silly if you've never had asthma in your life as I don't think Jimmy entirely gets it, but when my asthma is bad or present, anything will trigger it especially very strong scents of anything whether it be perfume, hairspray, fabric softener or highly scented candles. among many other things.

I was upset when I was triggered this morning but I don't think Jimmy completely understood it is because I am struggling to keep the asthma under control and it is feeling really bad right now. It felt a little better yesterday but is back to being worse than ever because of the perfume trigger this morning and I barely slept. He apologized and I know it was not on purpose but I got irritated since Ive many a time explained to him what asthma involves and sent him many articles on what triggers it.

I just want to be able to breathe but my chest has been so tight today and almost everyday in the past week. :/